Inspired by our colleagues at Frampton Marsh we have decided to try out a new way of communicating current wildlife sightings on the reserve. Today I got the ball rolling with our first video blog featuring wildlife watching highlights from the past week, enjoy!
Our video blog can be viewed on the Saltholme YouTube channel or click the play button on the image below.
Hopefully see you soon on a visit to the reserve.
A new darkness has fallen. A new army of clone ducks is ruled by Donald Duck, who controls the ducks with …….. tweets. He is helped by Darth Huey, Darth Dewey, Darth Louie and Vladimir Puffin, even though he lives far, far away on a different land mass, although it is not blatantly obvious that this is true. Barrack Obarnowl has been frozen in a large block of stuff by Vladimir Puffin, but Princess Kylie dresses up in a rather attractive outfit, steals the block of stuff and takes it to a secret base in Seaton Curlew. If only she could work out the code to un-freeze the block but her head just keeps spinning around. She just can’t get that image of Yodean out of her head. Yes, she should be so lucky.
All that remains of the rebels at Saltholme are Yodean, George Icewalker and a hologram of Obi-swan. Yodean and George meet up by the main lake in the mornings to discuss important issues such as global warming. But George is from Australia, and can’t see what all the fuss is about. So Yodean explains about changing wind patterns, the difficulty of predicting how that will affect different regions, sea level rise and something about Paris, home of the Eider Tower, which was never finished, and is still full of holes.
Global warming ?
George ponders all he has heard and contemplates the fate of the planet. He turns to Yodean saying “this is indeed a vary complex issue which requires lots of suet pellets, all the world leaders to come together with suet pellets, and come up with a plan to get more suet pellets, in Paris. Now can I have some suet pellets ?”
The hologram of Obi-swan appears and tells them to go to the wildlife watchpoint where they’ll find the merlin falcon and then go to Condor. After a breakfast of suet pellets, Yodean and George go to the wildlife watchpoint and find the merlin falcon hidden in the swampy willows. They head to Condor to meet the little furry teddy bears, who have been genetically manufactured by the Federal Bureau of In vitro fertilisation. They form a huge army of furriness and head to earth in furry spaceships for a massive battle. While there is unpleasant carnage all around them, as no grown ups ever considered the impacts upon young children of seeing little furry teddy bears in a massive battle, George confronts Donald Duck who rather casually announces that he is in fact Georges father. Is this true ? or is it fake news ?
As George struggles to contemplate his ancestry, Donald Duck moves in to finish him off, with blue lightning surging from his arms, where some hands should be. But a little furry spear comes flying through the air and takes Donald’s hair piece off into the distance. Donald flees in terror, there is a huge explosion and everyone cheers.
Yodean and George return to Saltholme, where they spend the mornings by the main lake, watching over the ducks and discussing important issues of the day such as the quantity and spatial layout of the new dragonfly ponds as part of the Saltholme Wetlands Project, or what the new second story view will be like from the soon to be re-vamped Saltholme Hide, will the Eider Tower ever be finished and why sunflower hearts are just not as yummy as suet pellets.
All characters, alive or blown up, depicted in this blog are entirely fictitious, and bear no resemblance to any person, alive or blown up, apart from Yodean, Princess Kylie and George Icewalker. It is also highly unlikely that Princess Kylie would have romantic intentions towards Yodean, even though he is handsome stable genius, of sorts.
Cue the music
It is time of great unrest on the main lake of Saltholme. Birds live in fear of the Emperor Hissy and his evil hench swan, Darth Scratchy and the clone ducks. A small band or rebels are led by George Icewalker, the black swan who came here from Australia with his sister Kylie. But no-one has seen Princess Kylie for some time now and George fears the worst, that she has been imprisoned and will be forced to appear on an I used to be a celebrity television show. To make matters worse, Darth Wader and Kylo Wren have begun to manufacture an army of rat droids in the sheep shed, to enable them to conquer the land as well as water.
Emperor Hissy, Darth Scratchy and the clone ducks
It is winter and ice makes finding food difficult. The Emperor, Darth Scratchy and the clone ducks make sure they get most of the food. There is little food left for George and the rebels.
The merlin falcon, piloted by Han Sowallow and Choughbacca with droids R2-Dtern and C3POchard has been despatched from the rebel base on a mission to destroy the rat droid factory and can’t help George. A squadron of X- wing finches is accompanying the falcon, armed with pheasant torpedoes. A ground force led by Admiral Albatross are trying to infiltrate the factory and blow up the shield generator in readiness for the air assault.
In the mornings, rebel Yodean raids the bins behind the buildings and tries to feed the rebels, but he is continually thwarted by the evil swans and the clone ducks.
George Icewalker watches from a distance. He knows he can walk over the ice, but the clone ducks are between him and the food. He can see Yodean up by the building who has some suet pellets. All seems lost, but then, George hears the voice of Obi-swan in his head saying “use the grass George ….. use the grass”. Nervously at first, George rises from the icy water and with growing confidence, does indeed walk up the grass to meet Yodean who gives him loads of food.
Use 'the grass' George
Now to rescue the Princess Kylie, play the secret message from Obi-swan, blow up the sheep shed and save nature.
All characters depicted in this blog are entirely real and obviously Kylie is still a true celebrity.
No swans or ducks were harmed during the making of this blog.